The power to kill yourself with your mind.

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The power to read any language, but it will always be backwards.

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The power to walk forward and walk backwards at the same time in a lying down position while your asleep having a wet dream about goat puppies.

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The power to play a flute with your ass

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The power to turn into a cat while a dog is watching you.

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the power to become a duck but not be able to quack

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the power to die at will

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The power to do nothing.

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The power to breath underwater, but only after someone has recently peed in it

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Eht rewop ot epyt sdrawkcab dna kaeps ti yltneulf ekilnu eht yug ohw tog no eht tsrif egap.

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The power to become tired at will but never sleep.

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The power to be bad at everything

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The power to look super sexy, but only in pitch black darkness.

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The power to slam revolving doors.

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The power to taste anything you smell.

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The power to see through the clothes of only the morbidly obese.

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the power to sell jars of bodily fluids for $25 each but get arressted shortly after

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Everything you touch turns into piles of steaming shit.

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the power to... SHUT THE F*CK UP

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The power to automatically yell every action you do like in a Japanese fighting game, I once started doing this for fun, at the end of the day eveyone hated me, good luck. (OPEN DOOR! OPEN DOOR! CLOSE DOOR! POOL SHOT! CUMMING HARD CUMMING HARD! SONIC BOOM! BEING TOLD TO SHUT UP! BEING TOLD TO SHUT UP! TAKING A PUNCH TO THE FACE UPPERCUT!)

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The power to block every twenty third bullet, shot at point blank range.

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The ablity to slap a policeman and get away with it.

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the power to never have to fill out captchas

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the power to think like a sumo wrestler between 2:30 and 3:30 am on thursdays

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!