The power to use the internet whenever you want, but only on dialup

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The power to have infinite energy, but only when you're asleep.

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The power to fap without satisfaction

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Customer: Waiter, there's a fly in my soup! Waiter: I'm terribly sorry sir, please let us replace your soup with a more satisfactory one which is hygienic, and does not contain a dead organism. Customer: Thanks.

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The power to orgasm everytime you pee.

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The power to see things with your eyes open

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To connect to the Playstation network with your mind! Who would want to?

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the power to read impossibly fast, but only when you're watching a movie with no subtitles

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The power to be able to be a guy who can create and control fire but if it touches you, you still burn

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The power to stop people from committing suicide just before they do, but only by killing them...

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The power to grow one inch, but you need to shrink one inch to do so.

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The power to pass sociology/psychology class by making yourself a hated internet meme by triggering negative emotions in a subject only using a simple word, only to discover later that it has turned into a compulsion. Moral, yep now you hate me, good day to you sir! Moral: There.

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The power of X-ray Viion, that gives you Eye Cancer from the radiation

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The ability to have a xredit card with no limit but not know the pin

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The power to make grey spots appear on the wall, but only when u are peeing

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The power to have wood when you wake up.

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the ability to grow and shrink... only inside buildings.

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The power to have your piss turn to solid gold before it exits you.

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The power to turn a dollar into three quarters.

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The ability to jizz uncontrollably in your pants randomly during the day

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the ability to time travel 5 minutes into the past this power recharges every 5 minutes

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the power to talk to animals but only when it means stealing your ice cream

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The power to exude spaghetti from your pockets, which is never stopped. The spaghetti keeps coming. Out of your pockets. Spaghetti everywhere.

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captain obvious

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!