I HAVE A TINY PINGAS! (Penis) Moral: Ladyfriend here daring me to post this here, PFF! Is that even a dare? I got balls of steel! Oh, and I should totally ask my doctor if she can give me something that helps me unwind after multiple female company, or at least they are daring me all to type that pff! Im not even good looking... And noooooo, nobody dared me to type that, they want todeeeeeeeeeellllllllteeeeeeeeee tht BUTI SHALLOOOWWWWWWINSSSSSSSS

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The power to be AMAZING in bed, but only when you're having sex with a midget over the age of 40.

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The power to have all the powers written in here

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the power to move something right next to you

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The power to control all bleach within one-hundred feet.

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The power to slap your buttcheeks together, then transform into a head of cabbage.

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The power to know when an item of food has been cooked to perfection, 38 seconds after it has caught fire.

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The ability to turn 100$ bills into toilet paper.

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The power to abstain from sex until you're married. At age 83.

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The power to get your comment 1st

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The ability to sense any and all ham in a five mile radius.

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The ability to talk to and have a conversation with boxes

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The power to have your veins be a 1% lighter shade of blue.

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The power to have sex with someone but only in your mind

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The power to go suicide

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The ability to say YOLO without getting shot.

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The power to develop a cancerous tumor anywhere in your body at any time you want.

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The power to piss out of your ass and shit through your dick

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The power to incriminate yourself in a crime you didnt commit

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The power to live until you die.

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the power to get struck by lightning at will.

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the power to eject into the sky only when you dont have a parachute

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The power to have backround music in your life.

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the power to eat an apple in an instant but you dont like apples

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!