The power to turn wine into water

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The power to light someone's pants on fire by saying: "Lier Lier pants on fire"

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The power to read thoughts but it reads everyones thoughts at the same time and you can't decipher whose thought is whose

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The power to steal other people's pointless superpowers.

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The power that when you think of someone's face your nostrils are filled with the smell of their feet

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The power to run at the speed of light, but are paralyzed from the neck down.

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THe power to whistle from your butthole but any time you do this your penis shrinks

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The power to turn food into shit.

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The power spite flower

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the power to evenly cook a hot pocket.

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ability to run very fast without stopping forever

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Turning into a brick wall. Forever.

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The power to come back to life just by yelling: I LIVE AGAIN! Or RESURRECTION! (which is not easy when you are dead)

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The ability to read minds by absorbing their mental disorders

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The power to kill yourself with your mind.

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The power to wink with both eyes

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The power to turn into a cat while a dog is watching you.

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The power of your girlfriend's will

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The power to fly, but only when you are less than a foot off the ground.

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The power to realize that I am starting to sound (and type) more and more like Salvador Dali, and being proud because the man was a genius, the most fantastic thing he could do every morning, was to wake up with a person as fantastic as himself! And while he indeed walked a different path than most do, no one can deny his footprints are clearer than most... Perfection? A losers wish... to be outstanding... is a gift on its own. Moral: Yeah many of you see this as pointless, so I thought I could just as well add it. While I dream of the age where people stop looking for Gods and strengthen the most powerful tool in the universe: YOU.

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The power to fly really fast, but only in one direction (down).

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the power to grow mustache combs from your fingernails, but lack the ability to grow facial hair

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The power to see through walls, but only when you're in a glass room.

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The ability to say Chuck Norris is just a piece of shiuiiiiiiifweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeem999999999999kkkkkkkkøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøfhiihdddde AND DIE! Chuck Norris.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!