The power to speak with dead relatives, but only whilst masturbating.

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The power to die.

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the power to seduce hats

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the ability to lick your own anus

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The power of making toast land butter-side up

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The power to have approximate knowledge of everything.

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The power to divide by zero, but not remember how when someone asks you.

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The ability to money into dog shit.

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The ability to fart pee.

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The ability to not blink twice as long as the normal person! Lol

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The power to move you right eye into the position of your left and vise versa, but only when you are sleeping.

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The power to talk like a leb when you get angry at your mum

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The power to turn load noises into cake

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The power to produce 5 times the normal amount of ball sweat.

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The ability to explode upon contact with glass.

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The power to turn anything you touch into cats

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The power to grow fingernails just to cut them later

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The power to look like your jacking off every time your mom walks in the room

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The power to speak braille

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the power to eat gold and turn it into koosh balls

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The power to have as much fun typing these as me. Moral: Of course you possess no such "useless" superpower you sad loser!

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the ability to be governor and have an Argentinian mistress

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The power to read and agree to the terms of service.

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the power to create your own real working money but you cannot spend it

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!