The power to kick ass and chew bubblegum but be all out of kicks. "sits down chews bubblegum"

thumb_up thumb_down +49

The power to pick something up and stay the same but smell bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

The power to sleep

thumb_up thumb_down +45

The power to turn food into shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

The ability to piss lightning and be able to make people dance by wiggling your monobrow

thumb_up thumb_down +35

The power to reverse gravity but only when you're outside.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

THe power to whistle from your butthole but any time you do this your penis shrinks

thumb_up thumb_down +23

the power to talk to fish but not people

thumb_up thumb_down +23

The power to be always able to blame others when you fart.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

The power to turn everything you touch into a crying, hungry baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

The Ability to ease hunger when you are full

thumb_up thumb_down +9

The power to die at will.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

The ability to play UNO without a tongue

thumb_up thumb_down +7

The power to pee ants.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

The power to permanently grow huge wonderful extremely heavy dragon wings, which do nothing but to weight you down and stand in the way. Fly? Nope, in fact you cant even walk now.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

The power to piss your pants each time you feel threatened.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

The ability to talk like Robert DeNiro on helium

thumb_up thumb_down -5

The power to slow the rate grass grows for 10 seconds every 13 years.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A power that makes your shits 10 times larger

thumb_up thumb_down -31

The power to always have the exact amount of money in your pocket when buying something, but then drop and lose a dime when the money over.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

The power to read people's minds, but in a language you don't understand.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

The power of being able to rotate in non-rotatable chairs.

thumb_up thumb_down +124

the power to glow in the dark only during the day

thumb_up thumb_down +112

The power to guess correctly how many bags you'll need for groceries.

thumb_up thumb_down +102

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!