the power to persuade every 80 yo into penetrating you analy

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The power to realize that I am starting to sound (and type) more and more like Salvador Dali, and being proud because the man was a genius, the most fantastic thing he could do every morning, was to wake up with a person as fantastic as himself! And while he indeed walked a different path than most do, no one can deny his footprints are clearer than most... Perfection? A losers wish... to be outstanding... is a gift on its own. Moral: Yeah many of you see this as pointless, so I thought I could just as well add it. While I dream of the age where people stop looking for Gods and strengthen the most powerful tool in the universe: YOU.

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The power to fly really fast, but only in one direction (down).

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Levitation Power but only 3 inch from ground,

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The power to fart 5 times bigger

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The power to fly upwards at Mach 3 speeds, indoors

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the ability to make a banana talk uncontrollably to itself but only when people around it are high. the ability to make a banana momentarily stop talking. the ability to allow a banana to sing uncontrollably songs strictly about being a banana, previously sung by a mammal. the ability to write funny things but only about banana(s).

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The power for shampoo to never go in your eyes, but only when its Johnsons No More Tears.

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The power to do something when you do it.

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The power to microwave bread

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to hit with a bat and the other is a baby.

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The power to talk to talking animals.

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The power to give yourself a sinus infection

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The power to bleed when your grandmother kisses you.

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The super power to control paper.

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The power to take away your power.

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The power to do flaming flying kicks by yelling CAPTAIN FEET!

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The power to charge your iPhone if it is not an iPhone

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the power to mimic what people are saying if they are dead and underwater

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The power to be a dick.

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The power to pick something up and stay the same but smell bad.

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Black power

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the power to relive the least important moments in history

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The ability to teleport at a random point of the space.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!