The power to touch MC Hammer.

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The power to fap 10x as fast as an elephant.

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Any telePATHETIC power you may get.

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The power to levitate mustard.

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The power to turn your external hearing off, only to replace it with the sound of very, very slow internal dubstep.

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The power to make some else throw up only if u throw up on them

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[insert pointless super powers here]

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The ability to know everything and get anything you want, but you must poop out a poop the size of a horse.

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the ability to make real zero dollar bills

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The ability to consume nutrient of the object what you swallow.

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The ability to fold paper 12 times

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The power to smell like poop once every hour.

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the power to fly if you are touching the ground

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The power to be away from the Internet without getting bored.

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The power to find treasure, when you try to look for it.

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The power to run as fast as a cheetah! Moral: A dead cheetah...

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The power to speak brail.

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The power to explode the entire world every time you became happy.

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The power to be bad at everything

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The pewer to become a human bullet magnet. Moral: "DONT WORRY PEOPLE! I SHALL SAVE YOU ALL!" (Well if you want to sacrifice yourself to save them all, then you its useful and you a douchebag)

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The power to shorten your lifespan by 10 seconds.

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The power to lick your own elbow

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The ability to crap out acid once every month.

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The power to be Sexually Molested And Raped Twice and be smart at the same time.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!