The power to levitate mustard.

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The power to turn your external hearing off, only to replace it with the sound of very, very slow internal dubstep.

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[insert pointless super powers here]

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the power get massive erections but you are only aroused buy new born babies or near death old men and women.

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The power to magically summon a knife at a gunfight. Moral: "A knife in a gunfight is pretty good when the guns run out of ammo"

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the ability to make real zero dollar bills

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The ability to consume nutrient of the object what you swallow.

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The power to smell like poop once every hour.

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the power to fly if you are touching the ground

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The power to find treasure, when you try to look for it.

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The power to be away from the Internet without getting bored.

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The power to become extremely intoxicated only during job interviews

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The power to know what Willis is talking about.

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The power to run as fast as a cheetah! Moral: A dead cheetah...

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The power to live through torture.

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The power to explode the entire world every time you became happy.

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The power to have a strong bladder for 5 minutes following urination.

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The power to be bad at everything

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The power to lick your own elbow

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The ability to crap out acid once every month.

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The power to die on command

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The power to be Sexually Molested And Raped Twice and be smart at the same time.

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The power to shoot lemons out of your urethra.

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the power to kill every thing you see but you have to be high and drunk and naked at the same time

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!