the power to be able to shoot death lazers but only at people you want alive

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the ability to eject a little steam cloud from your penis every time you finish peeing.

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the power to eat with your butt

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Writing "because moral man loves you" Moral: I am far too antisocial to love everyone, I mean the more love for me the better... so I can give a lot to my girlfriend too... love you baby! (my girlfriend duh) Moral 2: Someday ill tell her that I type this comments, and if you thumb this up, she will find out I declared my love here too... aww... love the man that does not love you... for love! Me: Huh? My head is spinning... and if yours is too, then thumb this comment up.

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The Power Of being Overly Generous in Bad Situations.

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Ability to suck **** like austin calhoun

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The ability to sling web like Spiderman except you can only shoot webs from your butt hole.

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the power to be alive but only when awake

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The pewer to become a human bullet magnet. Moral: "DONT WORRY PEOPLE! I SHALL SAVE YOU ALL!" (Well if you want to sacrifice yourself to save them all, then you its useful and you a douchebag)

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The ability to cure anyone of AIDS for 37 seconds

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The power to not feel pain when you are not in pain.

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the power to turn into a bucket of water

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The power to understand that Jesus called himself Son of man, which translates into Anderson, which makes a certain movie make a bit more sense. Moral: THIS IS MY WORLD MISTER ANDERSON! MY WOOOOOORLD!

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The ability to evolve into magickarp

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The power to not be able to reach the top shelf.

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the power to phaze through everything against your will

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The power to feed cat toes to your boss but only during a job interview

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The ability to make time go ten times faster whenever you are stressed.

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The ability of telepathy but only when your targets are toast pieces, not whole toast mind you, toast pieces. This includes crumbs

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The power to see light as it appears on an object.

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The power to make yourself get a cramp at will.

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The ability to bring statues to life but they can't move or talk

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the ability to die at will, just by blinking

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The ability to survive bleeding for a week but it forces you to turn into a total bitch .

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!