The power to be dumb enough to press the "congratulations! You are our 1 millionth visitor!" spam adds

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The power to pull your heart out from your chest.

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The power to make 3.74% of your body a pale green colour.

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The power to teleport to hell. You cannot teleport anywhere else.

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The power to use the internet whenever you want, but only on dialup

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The power to end a sentence the way that people wasn't expecting them to orangoutang.

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the power to see through glass

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The power to come up with pointless superpowers on a website about pointless superpowers.

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The power to die uncontrollably and never come back or do anything else.

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The power to make mediocre cabbage soup.

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The power to make short sleeves into slightly longer sleeves.

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The superpower to think that you have a superpower

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The power to make anything into toilet paper.

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The power to meme 20% harder

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The power to greatly enlarge your penis only if you are presenting.

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The power to have wood when you wake up.

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The power to be scared shitless and run around like a retard for about 100 minutes.

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The power to believe people will vote for you`re comment, which starts WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY in the back.

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The power to perform stan up comedy whilst sitting down

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the power to see when the lights are on

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The power to look busy at work but only when the boss is not looking.

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The power to understand this: Alucard: Father! I will stand against you! Dracula: Then it is time to kill your weak human side and join me in REMAKING THIS WORLD! (battle ensues Dracula takes a hell of a beating) Dracula: AAAAAAAARGHHHHHH! Heh... sarcasm... What is a man... if he gains the world, but loses his soul... limps away... Mark 8:36 I believe... Alucard: Father! I did not wish for you to die! Dracula: Uh I lost a sole, and the world is mine, already... Alucard: Well then lets keep fighting. Moral: Richter: YOU STEAL MENS SOLES! Dracula: The same could be said about every shoe shopper... Me: You are not gonna get this one, but if Dracula STEAL MENS SOULS! Then why would he have a soul to begin with? Its confusing... and the power to understand this is meaningless... BUT ENOUGH TALK YOU MISERABLE LITTLE PILE OF SECRETS! HAVE AT THY!

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The power to only be physically attractive to blind people.

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The power to ejaculate only when you're greeting someone

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!