The power to have a small penis

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the power make tomatoes turn green.

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The power to hold your breath while unconscious.

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The power to know the answer to every question you're asked, but forgetting it instantly.

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The power to play any Justin Bieber song of your choice out of your butt.

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The power to have an internal monologue voiced by Morgan Freeman.

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The power to read this text unless you can see it.

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The ability to teleport into high security prisons but you cant teleport out

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The power to LEROOOOY JEEEEENKINS

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The power to read minds but only if the person is thinking the exact same thing as you.

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the power to grow stings out of your genitals

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The power to half your IQ and have it return to normal in an hour

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the power to die at will

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The power to be happy whenever you want, but only at funerals

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The power to say something positive about Justin Beiber

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The power to be lazy and a normal human being. The Average Joe Power.

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the power to die tomorrow morning.

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The power to control any type of urine or feces

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Solar Powered Vampire Abilities

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"man hiding at the ladies room" "woman enters" SURPRIIIIIISEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeAERHG! Ok so now we know my dick fits up your ass... hi my name is... why you crying?

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The power to do NOTHING!

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The power to remotely _jizz in someone's sock

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The ability to make time go ten times faster whenever you are stressed.

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The ability to become shit forever.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!