the power to make toast into bread

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The power to buy jerky on a semi-weekly basis.

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the power to talk to your elbow

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The power to hurt the people you love

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The power to move at the speed of ripeness. Moral: Ripeness is actually slightly slower than time, true fact.

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The uncontrollable power to teleport to the places you don't want to be and every time this happens... a random fat guy barfs on you

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The power to fart on a zebra when you are next to a zebra and have to fart.

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The power to be away from the Internet without getting bored.

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The power to envision 1 possible death scenario for any person you look at.

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The power to have consensual sex with any dog of your choice.

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The power to wait 8 to 10 business days.

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The power to focus with extreme power, only on your own focus though... Moral: Inception.

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The power to lose body parts spontaneously.

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Being a Spice Girl

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The ability to run... AT THE SPEED OF MAN

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The power to sing at an uncontrollably high level, but not have the ability to dodge a water bottle

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The power to barely touch anything in space and time, but only with the pointer finger on your not dominant hand.

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the power to predict the future 3 minutes later.

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The power to throw away and break your wine/blood glass away before yelling HAVE AT THY! At the comment below (below this one duh, you see the other brown box? Yeah that one genius) Moral: Yeah yeah, you dont get it, but its awesome because its a MISERABLE PILE OF SECRETS!

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the power to live forever but you'll die if you don't eat 100 coach roaches a week

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The power to speak brail.

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I am the daddy devil of all evil hhaha like A boss

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The power to hover 10 nanometers off the ground.

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The power to jump -50% higher

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!