The power to reproduce asexually.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

They power to be able to make meth.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

The helpers... early days part 3!: Shitfixer: What color is your poo? Hmm.. you should eat more vegetables.., You need someone to fix your toilet? Try calling Batman... Batman: Yes? Are you retarded? Dense or something? Of course I repair toilets and install showers! I am the goddamn Batman! The Pope: The less people use condoms, the more children we can bang! I really hope nobody finds out our secret reason for banning condoms or stuff... AMEN! Moral Man: People are gonna try crush me for the last one, they gotta find me first though... and I kill and eat Zealots (and pussy) for breakfast... and its nearly breakfast so please come by.. only 100 at the time though, I have limits too you know... although some still think I am perfect... sigh...

thumb_up thumb_down -34

The power to make guns appear in the hands of people who are enraged at you.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

The ability to guess the reCAPTCHA words first try

thumb_up thumb_down -58

To be be able to be and throw fire without being fireproof.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

The power to become severely depressed and suicidal whenever you feel the slight sensation of happiness.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

The ability to cross the Do Not Cross tape at crime scenes

thumb_up thumb_down -100

The ability to predict what will appear on ReCaptcha, SOLVEmedia, and all that stuff, before you see it.

thumb_up thumb_down +73

The ability to travel back in time, but always five minutes after you can be of any use to anyone.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

The ability to teleport, but only into solid stone.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

The power to break through walls but forget to shout "OH YEAH!"

thumb_up thumb_down -23

The power to be instantly transported to Switzerland, naked, whenever you reach orgasm.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

The power to fap without satisfaction

thumb_up thumb_down -95

The power to read minds. ...of those who went through brain death.

thumb_up thumb_down -121

I have the power to make /b sarcastic, witty and funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +122

The power to sleep on road trips but only if you're not in a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

The power to turn on a hot flash, but only when it's 80 degrees out.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

the power to allow dumbass powers to be written on this site

thumb_up thumb_down -42

The ability to fully regenerate... your eyebrows.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

The power to uncontrollably dance to disco music

thumb_up thumb_down -86

the ability to tell time without a watch

thumb_up thumb_down -106

The power to transfer your soul into a burrito

thumb_up thumb_down +101

the power to fly indoors

thumb_up thumb_down +85

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!