The power to get older every second

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the power to lift anything under the weight of 2 lbs

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The ability to be frequently run over by an invisible car.

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The power to open shampoo and conditioner bottles by blinking.

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the power to shoot lasers that are invisible and do nothing

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The power of super sonic strength and speed only when you resite Shakespeare.

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The power to be a bird that can't fly

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The power to die

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The power to eat gumbo with a fork.

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North Korea's Nuclear missile program.

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The power to speak any language, provided that no one around you can understand it.

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The power to turn into a frog that fires is lazah everytime someone says "Hey".

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the power to see through windows

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the power to eject into the sky only when you dont have a parachute

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Hello.. I'm Captain Curteous & I'd jst like tol say F@@K THE LOT OF YOU. Oh no my powers are failing!!!!!

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The power to be as strong as a bear... but only when fighting another bear.

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The ability to change a light bulb with the help of a friend on the first or fourth Tuesday of every 4 four months when he has enough free time to help.

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The power to chew ass and kick bubblegum, but be all out of ass!

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The power to levitate a lamp 4 inches off the ground... Once...

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The power to make someone see your smile slightly whiter

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The power to Lee when your near a toilet

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Smell chick peas from over two miles away

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the power to transform into a rock.

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The ability to be jealous of tom watts like jack moore

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!