The ability to gain weight at will, but not lose it at will

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The power to shoot money out of your hands, but only when your body is on fire.

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The power to telekinetically pull sharp objects towards you at incredible speeds.

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the power to be forever alone

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The power to "smell what the Rock is cooking"

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the power to be alive but only when awake

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Being able to make sandwiches, but you're a man.

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The power to talk to anyone in any language, but only to deaf people.

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the power of not being able to feel pain during constipation

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The power to remember long sequences of numbers. But only the even ones.

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The power to reseal bottles!

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the ability to grow and shrink... only inside buildings.

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Swiss army teeth.

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The power to "dislike" things on Facebook.

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the power to finish an all you can eat

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The power to die when you do Anything!!!

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The power to get an evil purple aura around you and laugh evilly every time you answer something honestly.

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the power to disinfect wigs.

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The power to make it so legions of turtles submerge from the world seas in order to fight for the death in your name to save your ass whenever you are in trouble. Moral: Uh thanks for coming turtles... yeah I remember when I needed you 20 years ago... But thanks really...

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The power to absorb energy wavelengths, in the visible light spectrum, from objects and create a mental picture of the shape and color of the objects they reflected off of.

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the ability to cough musli in hot girls faces

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The power to jump over any fence no matter how high! Good luck surviving the fall.

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the ability to smile a tooth grin while pooping on your own chest

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u?op ?p?sdn ?d?? o? ???od ???

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!