The power to play a snippet of Darude-Sandstorm whenever you inhale or exhale.

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The power to eat three times a day.

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The power to give yourself the most intense orgasm of all time at will, but it only lasts for a millisecond.

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The power to flush toilets with your mind

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The power to create a slight aroma of cucumbers

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The power to (place useless super power here)

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The power to hear people's thoughts when you fap

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The ability to lift things up and put them down.

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the power to take ipecac without throwing up

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The power of having a bulletproof appendix.

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The power of hindsight

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The power to... We're sorry, but something went wrong. We've been notified about this issue and we'll take a look at it shortly.

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The ability to shoot a banana from your eyebrow every time you are riding on a unicycle.

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Ability to fly 3 feet off the ground and at normal walking speed

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The ability to get free housing for at least 25 years after running over your neighbor.

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The power to eat the booty like a poor person's groceries

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The power to make dead batteries appear.

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the ability to cough musli in hot girls faces

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The power to kill yourself just by thinking about something.

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The power to be so fast, that if you sprint forward you travel the whole world just in time to fuck yourself.

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the power to be physically attracted to the same sex

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The power to get arrested

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The ability to fly 1/2 mm above ground, and only on dry land... no water walking

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the power to misspell

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!