the power to wake up 2 seconds before your alarm.

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The power of slowing down your reflexes respond whenever you want.

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The power to spit venom, but it misses 99.9% of the time.

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Most of Gods powers part 2: Let us pretend that God really created everything... including sin right? God: Jebus, I want you to go down to earth and receive torture of legendary proportions, and die. Jebus: Why? God: To remove sin... Jebus: Uh... cant you just remove it? God replies either: 1. Yeah but ill be more fun this way, ill have you killed just to show you are not mortal anyways lol troll! 2. No, Sin is more powerful than me, so you better go die to not really die, relax... 3. Son, my ways are mysterious, "thunderstorm scares Jebus to go down) Moral disclaimer: God can be anyone`s God, and Jebus is not to be confused with the completely different Jesus. I mean every God out there and Jebus is simply a name I put instead of whoever prophet your religion has, so I really insulted everyone religious. Moral: (the other was a disclaimer) Religion is written by men... drunk men... now go eat your bread and drink your wine... and you shall become like Jebus... tortured and crucified? To show the world you are immortal? Side effects: Alcholism and all that follows, including a quicker death... to prove your immortality? (Hypnosis is powerful shit, especially when you are drunk, take it from a experienced hypnotist)

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The power to grow nipples all over your body at will

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An extra set of eyes...in your scrotum

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power to transform into a dick with legs

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The power to make food slightly smaller.

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The power to answer trivia questions, but only being able to do so in a loud, aggressive voice.

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The power to absorb energy wavelengths, in the visible light spectrum, from objects and create a mental picture of the shape and color of the objects they reflected off of.

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The Power to Power

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The power to accidently find all spoilers online before you watch a film or an episode of a series.

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The power to annoy people with saying the same meme to then(Examples: WHAT ARE THOOSE,21 etc.)...

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The power to change the temperature by 1 degree, once every leap year.

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The ability to generate bellybutton lint at will.

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The power to jump face first

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The power to recite 1,000 digits of pie, but only when you need to say the Fibonacci sequence

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The ability to rectify health and safety concerns, using a sword.

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The power to glitter in the sunlight. Especially if you're a guy.

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The power to never come into existence

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power to breath fire but only through your nose

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The power to poop but only in bushes.

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Power to make it rain sideways.

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the power to instantly make a time bomb explode the moment you touch it

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!