The power to identify a senior citizen by looking at their naked butt.

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The power to have any power when they are completely pointless to have.

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blindness

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the power to say everything in Comic Sans font.

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the power to have good enough grammar to phrase the fu**ing power you want to share without sounding like a retarded deaf 6 year old

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The ability to make time go ten times faster whenever you are stressed.

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The power to fall without screaming.

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the ability to turn things purple by touching it.

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the power to eat when your hungry

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The power to disguise as an old woman but only with a proper costume and 20 minutes of time in a bathroom to get the make-up done properly.

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The ability to count to potato

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The power to make Dylan Zona trip on everything when he walks and falls face first I to a pile of shit

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The power to convert metric to imperial

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the ability to command watermelons

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The ability to look at someone and know the exact number of times they have farted in the past year.

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The ability to transform yourself into a Turkey but only with a brain larger than the head of a turkey. Note: People will become happy if they eat you for christmas.

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the power to poop forever and pee forever. ,the power too teleport 1in.

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The power to scratch your head 1% faster than usual, if it doesn't itch.

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the power to fly, but only at the speed of light you, for less than 1 second, but you must land at the exact same spot you started and your mind cannot comprehend anything any differently than a normal human

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The power to beat bad ass kids without getting arrested!!!

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The power to regenerate limbs, but twenty years after you've lost it.

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The Power to float on water, except when you're wet..

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The power to self destruct

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the power to become Homer Simpson's mom (R.I.P. her)

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!