The power to die

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The power to lose your voice when you yell a lot.

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The power to fly really fast but only in closets.

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The power to sit for extended periods of time in front of the computer doing pointless things. The person who is reading this has that pointless superpower otherwise he would be doing something productive.

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The power to talk to plants but only when they have mean things to say.

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The power to become a virgin but only if you've never had sex.

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The power to predict last week's lottery numbers

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The power to remember the funniest thing in the world and have a full on laughing fit, as long as you are at a funeral.

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The power to read the mind of a cow that has produced a piece of cheese that has traveled 447,800 miles but only when looking at that piece of cheese

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make youself dumb

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The power to magically generate drugs in your pockets, but only while being arrested or in a police station.

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The power to assassinate already-dead leaders

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the power to fire my lazer

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The power to be invisible to everything but security cameras.

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the power to be friends with Donald trump

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power to permanently shrink one eye.

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The power to cook pop tarts really fast

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The power to sing like Justin Beiber.

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The power to find gold in your nose but only when you pick it in front of others

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The Power to sit down only on chair made of knives.

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the power to sit

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the ability to spin gold into straw

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To the comment below: You wont get a chance to miss me mortal... Moral: The color of envy... you wish you could be like me... everyone of you, yet some of you got the balls/pussies to prove it! For the people! For the freedom of speech! For courage and strength! For balls of steel! For the ladies... and most importantly... because I f*cking want to! NOW AND FOREVER! I AM MORAL MAN!

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the power to remotely jizz in someone's sock.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!