The power to completely understand Monty Python sketches.

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The power to turn cake into pie

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the ability to un-dank any meme

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The power to be missed when present.

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The power to make everything worse

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That F-ucking ass hole that keeps typing morals all the time, he is F`n annoying! Moral: You thought I was a hater eh? Hahaha got you there ;) And if that is not the most pointless pointlessity in the world, then... I give shit about thumbs ups really, they just discovered that I have an bad allergy to dust, and thus I have been unable to work out for TWO YEARS! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! Me so happy, me love you long time. That is what women usually say to me, instead that they change the happy with horny... and replace you with someone else`s name. Self Irony... such a delight... and maybe I am lying... who knows... who wants to know? Nobody? :( sob... excellent! :D Damn CATCHPHRA! I SWEAR I USED TO HAVE A KITTEN THAT WAS TWICE THE SIZE OF TEXAS!

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The power to be powerless

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The power to grow bigger, but never smaller.

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The ability to be telepathic but only while sleeping. So you just think it's a dream.

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The power to die whenever you feel the slightest bit joyful, happy excited, etc.

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the power to give yourself cancer that you can't get rid of

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The power to have super hearing but only works when you are dead.

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The ability to control dairy products

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The power to magically summon a knife at a gunfight. Moral: "A knife in a gunfight is pretty good when the guns run out of ammo"

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The ability to find objects in the last place you look

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Super strength that works for a millisecond.

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Perfect recall of every episode of Teletubies

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The ability when standing still you hover 1milimeter

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The power to make every single person in the world hate you and want you dead.

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The power to change colors to the excact same as before.

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The power to fire lasers from my nipples.

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the power of losing and getting in 2nd place or 3th. the power of clearing your mind only for it to stay blank. the power of riding a horse really well aslong as you think it is a cow. the power of breathing AIR. the power of bellyflopping cement. the power of reading ancient arameîc. the power of speaking perfect gibberish.

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The power to click the left button of your mause, only by thinking of how you click it,while your finger is on the button.

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The power to chew with your tongue

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!