The power to have hindsight.

thumb_up thumb_down +79

The ability to read minds, but it can only be your own.

thumb_up thumb_down +79

the power to pay 1 cent less then what items in the store cost

thumb_up thumb_down +77

The power to put up with your in-laws.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

The power to eat pop-tarts as soon as they pop out of the toaster

thumb_up thumb_down +77

The power to feel like you're gonna sneeze forever

thumb_up thumb_down +77

The power to fuck your moms pussy at will (her opinion or desire means nothing to the will of your useless superpower!). Moral: SONS OF SICKMAN FRAUD REJOICE!

thumb_up thumb_down +75

The power to shift baroque and rococo era paintings proximately 2" up and 3" to the left.

thumb_up thumb_down +71

The power to time-travel to the moment you die.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

the power of running at superspeed, whenever you are sat down

thumb_up thumb_down +67

The power to jerk off without using your hands

thumb_up thumb_down +67

the ability bend your legs in a perfect circle

thumb_up thumb_down +65

The power to read the bible, and then learn hypnosis, and look at the bible again... Moral: And they say hypnosis is worthless because it is just suggestions... the bible uses EVERY single trick in the book, and the bible`s teaching lead to the "holy" crusades (of kill murder and rape across the world, too many died to count), the bigotry, greater intolerance to different people, and just now (Bush before him) Obama is assuring his people that this war is "GODS WILL!" And seriously, if darkness is considered evil... then no wonder Captain America and his men did not hesitate to kill and enslave Captain Africa and his people a couple years ago... And its still going on, thanks lord (sarcasm, duh) Suggestion: Most powerful force in the universe, and it is invisible to boot... daaaang im powerful.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

The power to hold your fart unless people are around you

thumb_up thumb_down +37

The power to make your breath smell like vanilla at will.

thumb_up thumb_down +146

The power to take any object you are holding and swap it with anything within thirty feet

thumb_up thumb_down +144

???q? ?o?? sp??oq??? ?nq ????u o? ??!l!q? ???

thumb_up thumb_down +138

The power to have the world's biggest cumshots, but to have a numb penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +138

The power to be a dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +138

The power to tell when someone last masturbated, but only by shaking their hand.

thumb_up thumb_down +132

The power to turn everything you touch into shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +132

The power to sense when infomercials will be on hours before they broadcast.

thumb_up thumb_down +130

The power to shape shift into water

thumb_up thumb_down +130

swear words -jesse

thumb_up thumb_down +128

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!