The Power to make miracle, now days there are no safe place in earth. We may died anytime

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The ability to heal someone by trying to beat them to a pulp.

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The power to give yourself a staticshock, every time you touch yourself.

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The power to have extreme S and M sex with Rosie O Donnell at will, you as the submissive.

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The power to spit so hard and fast that you hit yourself in the back of the head every time... and it can only be used once, because its so hard it goes trough everything...(thus hits you in the skull duh) including your skull... Moral: Remember kids! Protect, Serve and Survive, and ask your mommy and daddy why they make the sexytime... their response may be pretty interesting...

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The power to see through solid objects, but only when said solid object is transparent.

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The power to grow your fingernails at 1.5% times the average speed, provided you contribute three hours a day to meditation.

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The power to fly but only when your feet are on the ground

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the powwer of have a WiFi everytime but don´t know the wep key

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The power to become erect at the sight of a man's butthole, oh wait thats just liam flanagan

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The power to die just by trying to use the word l...

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The power to turn gourmet meals into shit.

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The power to make clean socks dirty.

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The power to uncontrollably laugh and point at every black guy you see

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The power to have your toe nails and fingernails be bulletproof.

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The power to melt butter with your mind when its hot outside

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the power to freeze people only when it's cold

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The power to see through things but you can't turn it off once turned on.

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The power to die.

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The power to think of powers someone else has already come up with

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The power to turn on your tv with your mind as long as the remote is in your hand and has batteries.

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the power to explain accidents when nobody gives a rats ass anymore

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the ability to produce petrol from your ankles but only when you're on fire.

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The power to recite all of Encyclopedia Brown's cases in alphabetical order.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!