The ability to listen to music anywhere at anytime, but only if it's from the Jonas Brothers.

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the power to instantly die

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The power to control any type of urine or feces

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the power to resist texting and driving 76% of the time when you only own a landline.

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The ability to breathe in space,but only when there's oxygen

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The power to glow very bright and emit a loud alarm everytime you're scared.

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The power to bleed anally at will

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The power to let someone control your dick

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The power to know all the answers to life after you are fatally wounded.

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The power to not get shit dick

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the ability for things to literally go in one ear and out the other

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The power to breath Oxygen

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The power of funk, but only on Tuesdays between 2 and 3 AM.

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The power to own Greek, Italian and Irish stocks.

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The power to produce fingernails at will that people can eat.

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The ability to read. No wait that is actually helpful. Never mind.

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The ability to know what time it is when looking at a working clock.

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the ability to self resurrect only if you are not dead

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The power to defeat any ant you may encounter.

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the power to accurately find out the temperature of a room by holding out your index finger pointing towards the sealing , but that only in rooms that have dissabled children who have lost there hands in tragic accidents.

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the power to teleport 2 in. from were you were standing in 8 hours

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The ability to read Captch codes perfectly but not being able to type them correctly

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The power to get hard at will.

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The ability to not be Batman

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!