The power to drink dihydrogen monoxide without dying.

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The power to become a forensic paranoiac raving lunatic at will... HEY! YOU! Why are you gonna give my comment a thumbs down eh? AND WHY A THUMBS UP? Are you gonna hack my account and kill my family? OH YEAH! OH YEAH? I AM GONNA KILL THEM MYSELF JUST TO TAKE IT AWAY FROM YOU! BAHAHAHAHA!

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the power to instantly die

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the power to awesomely tap dance when you are angry.

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Eclairvoiance: The ability to forsee when you will eat your next cream-filled, chocolate coated pastry...

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The power to rain fireballs down upon those you love.

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The power to read the minds of chickens every other Tuesday.

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The power to spend your money on yourself, when you gotta do something useful with it, like giving it to me. Moral: GIVE ME THY TRESUUUR!

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The power of self mind control

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The power to have omniscience but can't speak and have Alzheimer's.

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Your mom is so ugly, she was mercilessly bullied through high school and had severe depression and self-esteem issues. The power to post anti-jokes only on pointless superpowers.

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The power to know all the answers to life after you are fatally wounded.

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The ability to speak any language, but only to people who do not understand said language you speak.

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The power of shrinking your own anus to subatomic size.

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power to be the best theif ever known to man but only if your in the most high tech prison

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The power to produce fish eggs from your left eye

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The power to be a woman

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the power to self destruct without hurting people.

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The power to go back in time one second at a time, but the ability takes one second to recharge.

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The power to see into the future and past but not remember any of it.

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the power to make the tip of a kangaroo's nose itch.

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the power to never be able to draw a straight line with a ruler

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The power to re-click a webpage over and over as long as it won't load

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The power of drawing perfects dog dicks, but not dogs at all.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!