The ability to explode. With no healing factor.

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The power of shrinking your own anus to subatomic size.

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32% Levitation.

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Your mom is so ugly, she was mercilessly bullied through high school and had severe depression and self-esteem issues. The power to post anti-jokes only on pointless superpowers.

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The power to communicate with earthworms.

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The ability to teleport instantly to your current location.

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The power to ejaculate lazer beams...

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The power to mentally unlock any lock you can see, but only if the key is within 10 feet of where you are.

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The powaaaaaaa srry again..... The power to be come a parked car THEY SEE ME NOT ROLLING...... WOOOOOO

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The ability to breath in a complete vacuum but nowhere else

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The power to run faster that a chetah when asleep, but to move as fast a snail when awake.

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The power to deep throat a giraffe!

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power to make you the last man on earth, but all the ladies are lesbian

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The power to lock a public toilet door and climb over the walls with ease.

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The power to use you`re veins as a lasso.

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The power to have knowledge of your power.

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The power to wear crocs.

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The power to realize when you are wasting your life typing useless shit on the internet

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The power to blink a nano second slower

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The power to break your legs before hitting the ground after jumping off of heights

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the power to win any shit eating contest.

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Being able to see exactly 0.001419 seconds into the future

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The power to give your grandma amazing orgasms.

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The power to be immortal, but only on 29th February.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!