The power to be frozen during each heart beat.

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the power to fly while under water

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The power to determine after 1 year that something is broken when you yourself have done it deliberately broken

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The ability to not have an ability (The ability to be a paradox)

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the power to teleport to the bottom of the ocean at will

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The power to become a forensic paranoiac raving lunatic at will... HEY! YOU! Why are you gonna give my comment a thumbs down eh? AND WHY A THUMBS UP? Are you gonna hack my account and kill my family? OH YEAH! OH YEAH? I AM GONNA KILL THEM MYSELF JUST TO TAKE IT AWAY FROM YOU! BAHAHAHAHA!

thumb_up thumb_down +113

The power to be arrested for crimes you did not commit

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The power to be a walrus

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The power to be interrupted in mid sent- "Shut up! I'm trying to sleep!"

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the power to not die only when someone shoots you in your left heel.

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Eclairvoiance: The ability to forsee when you will eat your next cream-filled, chocolate coated pastry...

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The power to become a lime only when you're left nipple brushes against your left shoe whilst it is superglued to your ding dong and you're strapped to a bed naked in the woods.

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The ability not to be able to make a bong out of a taco bell cup

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The power to jump 3% higher than the average human,

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The power to revive anyone....But only if they are alive.

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The power to shit yourself whenever other people are looking at you

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The power of shrinking your own anus to subatomic size.

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The power to be a woman

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The power to see in black and white.

thumb_up thumb_down +83

the power that makes your ass turn into a shit machine gun, but you can only use it if its directed at your mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down +79

The power to increase or decrease the size of your bones, but only your bones, not your flesh.

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The power to mentally unlock any lock you can see, but only if the key is within 10 feet of where you are.

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The power to demand people to thumb you down! (That would make this pointless power even more pointless, which deserves a thumbs up... but...) Moral: THUMB ME DOWN! NAO!

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The power to run faster that a chetah when asleep, but to move as fast a snail when awake.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!