The power to have the biggest boner ever in the middle of a presentation.

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the power to read 9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 books every second

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to be able to lift any weight of feathers

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the power to sing like justin bieber

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The ability to suddenly realize you have Cancer.

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the power to... SHUT THE F*CK UP

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The ability to change your eye colour at will. basically, you do this with a torch. Everyone can do this.

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The power to have any pointless power you want

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Q: What is 1+1? A: An equation.... Duh...

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The ability to speak all languages ever recorded in history, but cannot speak without using at least 10 of them simultaneously.

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The ability to turn a computer off at will, except it must in the middle of saving your term paper.

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The power to become annoyed by annoying people

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The power to fly but only if you standing on the ground

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The power to get foot-boners

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The ability to anticipate the release of half-life three. Sidenote: Goes hand in hand with the ability to bathe in your own tears.

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The power to be Helen Keller at will.

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The power to become an extremely attractive straight man in only the presence of 83 year old homosexual men

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The power to run at the slowest speed possible.

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The Power of Super Speed only when you climb a ladder

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The power to freeze time but you would also be frozen. Basically dooming everyone to be frozen in time with no way of getting out. No one would even know about it but it will happen.

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The Power to realize the Chuck Norris is overrated, not funny, not that strong, old, over used and anyone who tells a Chuck Norris joke is not funny and never will be, has no future as a comedian or any future at all and will die having not accomplished anything in life.

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the power to hope you get a job at the mall because they laid everybody off and sent the jobs off somewhere cheap

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The power to be invincible everywhere but your face

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The ability to not come back to life when you die.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!