The power to lose your sense of touch and orgasm uncontrollably for five minutes.

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alarm that goes off when hiding

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The ability to see the future but only when you are in the past.

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The power to charge your iPhone if it is not an iPhone

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The power to be impressed by Sham-Wow

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the ability to drink coffee without burning your tongue.

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The power to thumb up your own comments.

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The power to get rid of feminism

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The ability to fly with wings on only one leg

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The power to enlarge your penis but only when you use a penis pump.

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The power to control an army of termites to eat any wooden object, as long as the object is from IKEA

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the power to hover 1 atom above the ground

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The power to play a flute with your ass

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To tell how many kids in a sweatshop it took to make your nike's

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The power to slow the rate grass grows for 10 seconds every 13 years.

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The ability to fly but, if you use it, birds start flocking around you and shitting on you.

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The ability to draw an imperfect circle

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The power of x-ray vision including mild radiation and only seeing bones

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The ability to make all the world's coffee lukewarm.

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[insert pointless super powers here]

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the power to reach a top speed of 200 miles an our, but only in built-up areas

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The power to turn into a baby randomly

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Endless falling....

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The power to give yourself cancer

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!