be able to levitate over the seats of public toilets (no more nastieness)

The power to smell the inside of your nose.

The power to lick your own elbow...

The power to read the Terms of Service but be unable to check the box saying that you have done so.

X-ray vision that only works on old mens clothes.

The power to see all things visible

the power to fly like a balloon -- no direction OH SHIT CEILING FAN

The power to temporarily become mentally retarded.

the power to have sex with a woman and then cause her to think she was raped.


The amazing ability of delayed reaction.

The power to shrink your penis every time you are aroused.

The power to change to an appropriate accent when you go to different countries.

The power to teleport 3 or 4 feet once a month.

the ability to walk with your buttcheeks

The power to part grass.

The power to teleport yourself through cellular signals but only on nights and weekends.

The power to extend the length of commercial when your going to the bathroom

The ability to sneeze flames.

The power to raise or lower the temperature of the room you're in by 1 degree.

x-ray vision so strong that everything becomes invisible

The power to only lift more than 100lbs however anything less than 100lbs is impossible to lift.

The ability to be very very stoned but only during job interviews

the power to rule North Korea

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!