The power to think of a witty comeback 3 days too late.

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The ability to be the newest post until someone else posts.

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The power that, eveything you touch turns into whatever it already was

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The ability to sleep for 15 straight hours and still feel exhausted...thank you mono.

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The power to think with a 6 year time gap

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The ability to never have to take a shit again

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The power of flight, but also have vertigo. VertigoMan to the resc Aggh!!!! Please someone get me down. OH GOD!!!! HELP!!!!

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The power to shoot lasers out your eyes but the first time you do it it burns your eyes and you go blind

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the power to make youtube videos buffer twice as fast on your iPhone.

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The pointless super power of take a shit in your own mouth!

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The power to think of hilarious intensely racist jokes, but only at Black Lives Matter protests.

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The power to be away from the Internet without getting bored.

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The power to do nothing.

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The power to not burn but only when its under 32 degrees fahrenheit

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Hetsy overpay otay peaksay igpay atinlay

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The ability to get aids and stay a virgin.

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The ability to find any lost pennies, as long as you're Jewish

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the power to drive well and see (applies to asians)

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The power to make condoms out of pizza dough.

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The power to glow in the dark

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The power to breathe underwater, only in sewers.

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The power to get to the end of Temple Run

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the ability to die once you have died

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The super power to control paper.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!