The power to fap 10x as fast as an elephant.

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The power to fall asleep at will. But it's only active when you're asleep.

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The ability to perform crippling blowjobs on your enemies, but as soon as you finish you are teleported (in the same position) randomly to a crowded part of Russia.

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The power to light things on fire with a match

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the power to fire your bellybutton lint out of your navel at a speed of 3 miles per hour.

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Apathy for the world. (Don't stop believing.)

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The power to wink really fast.

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power to type using my head.. .because my fingers are there

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The power to be a MISSERABLE PILE OF SECRETS! BUT ENOUGH TALK (glass breaks) HAVE AT YOU! Moral: More are gonna get this one than those below, this one is merely a quote rather than cerebral. But you can always pretend to understand it by thumbing it up, or down if you just fail at understanding, either way is fine.

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The power to suck your own dick but not when your horny

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The power to grant underwater breathing to Mosquitos.

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My charms is my superpower, but damn I cant shut up after spending some quality time with the ladies! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! MY BODY WAS NOT READY! I feel like yelling out my real name, but you know, if you know me (I am easily recognizable) the girls I spend time with would feel like I am bragging about them, and I am not, I am simply celebrating my conquest, you see, you came, you saw... BUT I CONQUERED! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT Moral: Feel free to thumb this down, my superpowers need to be contained, or else I will beep my way to an early grave! Girls, mwah... and you know, just dodge the kiss if you cant handle love personified, they arent homing nor anything... Should I ask my doctor if she has any medications that will help me wire down after uh... Multiple female company? HAHAHAHAAAAAAH!... The thought made me kinda sad, im better, now just to prove to my company here that I got balls of steel, I am gonna post this and let you judge me all you want! BECAUSE YOU CANT HAVE EM!

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Dust-mite communication. Attack my army of microscopic and fairly harmless beasts!

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DE POWER TO SPELL WRIGHT LOL LAOM FOTOSINSISES

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The power to breathe underwater, only when your not underwater.

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The power to not have any power.

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The power to turn your tv on, but only if your in a different country to the to.

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The power to used any power i want when you're asleep

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the power to hear and understand all living things within 100 meters but they cant understand you and you can never turn it off.

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the power to be a master carpenter, make anything, except love.

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The power to increase the loudness of a crying baby.

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The power to make it so legions of turtles submerge from the world seas in order to fight for the death in your name to save your ass whenever you are in trouble. Moral: Uh thanks for coming turtles... yeah I remember when I needed you 20 years ago... But thanks really...

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The ability to have glow stick bones (glow when broken)

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The power of having useless wings grow on your testicles

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!