the power to be a complete troll

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The power to RISE FROM YOUR GRAVE, only for becoming a homoerotic bodybuilder addicted to steroids made from white bull testicles, and eating so many that you eventually become a golden werewolf, a blue hedgehog or something like that...

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The power to see the future five days after it has happend

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The power to buy anything for free, as long as it is black.

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The power to understand myspace

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the power to projectile vomit every time you attempt to laugh.

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The power to laugh at Tyler Perry's House of Payne

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the power to shit shards of glass

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The power to jump inside the TV, but only when the screen is removed

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The power to fart out of someone else's bum

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The power to see where light is not present.

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The ability to speak any language, but only to people who do not understand said language you speak.

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Melting

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The ability to sing good in the shower... but nowhere else

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the power to make body fat go away

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The power to come up with fantastic comebacks, at the person's funeral.

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The ability to reverse your digestive system.

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The ability to not be able to pronounce certain words, such as Idaho.

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The power to read the minds of chickens every other Tuesday.

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The power to teleport to the center of the Earth.

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The ability to know the current mood of your doppleganger.

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The power to increase your chances of winning a contest by 0.0000000000000000000000000001%

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The power to Chang ur hair coler but only when ur bald

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The power to ejaculate 100 times a day without sperm coming out and having to jack off :)

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!