The power to instantly determine when someone is a dumbass.

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The power to make it so legions of turtles submerge from the world seas in order to fight for the death in your name to save your ass whenever you are in trouble. Moral: Uh thanks for coming turtles... yeah I remember when I needed you 20 years ago... But thanks really...

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The power to breathe underwater, only when your not underwater.

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The power to block bullets with only your pinky toe on your left foot.

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The power of having useless wings grow on your testicles

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The power to be a MISSERABLE PILE OF SECRETS! BUT ENOUGH TALK (glass breaks) HAVE AT YOU! Moral: More are gonna get this one than those below, this one is merely a quote rather than cerebral. But you can always pretend to understand it by thumbing it up, or down if you just fail at understanding, either way is fine.

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the power to troll people that are dead

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The power to increase the loudness of a crying baby.

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The power to be quite good at checkers.

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The power to change the colour of your internal organs.

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The power to hear yourself on recording and not think you sound weird

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The ability to be in fashion.

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The power to wink really fast.

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The ability to make your handwriting invisible when nobody is reading it

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The power to be able to make yourself catch on fire, but not be fire proof...

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To Shoot Piss Out Of Your Mouth Only If You Are Taking A Dump

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The power to teleport to hell. You cannot teleport anywhere else.

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invinsibility to everything except for thing that hurt or kill you....

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The power to move infinitely fast up spiral staircases, but the inability to go down them.

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The power to instantly kill yourself

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The power to think that mayonnaise is an instrument.

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The power to spell words incorrectly when speaking.

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Super strength, but when nobody is watching, (including you)

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The power to eat food

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!