The power to have car insurance, but only when you don't have a car.

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The power to buy anything for free, as long as it is black.

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The power to return to life but only after being ritually buried 6ft underground

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the power to dodge cars only when they are parked

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The power to troll the Internet.

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The ability to speak any language, but only to people who do not understand said language you speak.

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The power to help bitches stay alive! Bitches love staying alive!

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The power to fart through your mouth and burb through your butt

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The power to eat turkey with nothing more than your mouth.

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Laser vision but only if you are looking into a mirror

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The power of invisibility, but only when you're wearing a morph suit, and people can still see the morph suit.

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THE POWER TO XLEAN UP STUFF WITH YOUR SUPER STRONG PUNCH

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The ability to grow adult teeth back if you loose them.

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The power to read Sarah Palin's mind

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The ability to scratch your balls telepathically.

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The power to make apples into pennies one per day.

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To be able to turn into any molusk when in a lava pit

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The power to read the minds of chickens every other Tuesday.

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The power to write about power.

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The power to teleport to the center of the Earth.

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The power to see through stuff, but you can't turn it off.

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The power to be able to make your least favorite food or drink, but you cannot eat it and it only technically exists if you don't look at it.

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the power to suddenly have suicidal thoughts

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The ability to scull down endless amounts of softdrink without vomiting

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!