The power to swim as fast as Sonic The Hedgehog

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The power to turn everything you touch into a crying, hungry baby.

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The power to predict yesterday's weather

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the ability to die at will, just by blinking

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the power to make elton john gay

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the power to transform into biggie smalls after he just died

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the power to become friends with your least favorite teacher on facebook.

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The power to not be able to laugh at good jokes and always have to laugh at the bad ones.

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The ability to know everything about knowing nothing.

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The power to give onesself a heart attack just by thinking about it.

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The power to be a normal person

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The power to talk to your socks but only when they're dying...

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the power to orgasm more than once in one round of sex. the thing is, after the 4th time, it gets slightly uncomfortable.

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The power to be as strong as a bear... but only when fighting another bear.

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The power to say something positive about Justin Beiber

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Your average Axel entering a Phone Booth and coming out as... MORAL MAN! Moral: Where the damn do you find a Phone booth nowadays?

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The power to fly at Mach 3 but only if your in the air, but too bad cuz the power comes at a cost which is making you weigh 21 more tons than you used to weigh.

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Liam Brudenell

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The ability to reach the end of the rainbow!

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The power to circumcise yourself

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The power to be really bad at math.

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The power to make your penis able to go through any nown material in the universe even a dwarf star. However it is 1000x more sensitive to pain than normal. And once you start you can't stop until it's trough.

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the power that makes your ass turn into a shit machine gun, but you can only use it if its directed at your mouth.

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The power to regret things you did in the past

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!