the power to reach a top speed of 200 miles an our, but only in built-up areas

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The power to attract any women you like by ripping of your junk.

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The power to be a human for 1 second once a month.

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To stab Djones

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The power of thinking of a good useless superpower.

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The power to hear a person's thoughts, but only when they're on the toilet.

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The ability to shapeshift into any items but only pedophiles can use it

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the power to steal 4 avocados in july at a supermarket at 9:37 am in your underpants without arms while a cop laughs at how stupid you look. plus while you do that a cute marshmallow comes and rapes your children.

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the ability to "speak in tongues"...

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The power to instantly waste all your money on cheap mango chutney at will.

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The power to jump, but only on the ground.

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The ability to fly while on a plane. You can only do this at the same altitude and speed of the plane.

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The power to propel urine at the top speed of the animal you most recently thought of.

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The power to know and attack every crabs weakpoint for massive damage. Yeah its moral again :P just getting bored of this Moral meme thing...

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the power to ejaculate so hard it rips a hole right through anythin thats within 5 meters of you

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The ability to scull down endless amounts of softdrink without vomiting

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The power to turn on the TV with the remote

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The ability to walk five hundred miles but than you have to walk five hundred more.

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The power to produce eyelashes that prevent eyelashes from getting in your eye

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The ability to swim on dry land only when submerged in dry water.

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The Ability to longer your arms and fingers but only if you are picking a booger....

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The power to automatically register soda caps online, but only if it's Diet.

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The ability not cry while cutting onions, only after hearing the news that a family member has just died

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The power to believe people will vote for you`re comment, which starts WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY in the back.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!