The ability to not freak out when your mom calls you

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The power to make everyone else blink around you when you blink.

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The power to give ANY girl the best orgasm she will ever have, but only when in Vatnajökulsþjóðgarður, Iceland. Between the local time of 3am-3:15am.

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The power to watch grass grow

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the power to turn everything you touch into poop.

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The power to grow boobs

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The power to turn on the TV with the remote

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The power to fly but only when touching the ground

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The power to walk after gettin kicked in the nuts

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The power to know which came first - The chicken or the egg.

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The power to start laughing uncontrollably when someone says the word "ferret"

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To stab Djones

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Retractable teeth

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The power to cut onion without crying.

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LIME

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The power to instantly waste all your money on cheap mango chutney at will.

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the power of cosmic pimping with a space suit on!

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The awe-inspiring power of being able to throw up at will while yelling IMMA FIRIN' ME LAZOR.

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The power to time travel to the present moment

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The ability to be invisible whenever you take a slefie

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The power to destroy any electronic device seconds after touching itoesajfaokpnhgåpesajfjåaeafjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrroooooooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

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The ability to fly while on a plane. You can only do this at the same altitude and speed of the plane.

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The power of night-vision, but only you're in a bright place.

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The power fuse yourself with a two lifeless jellyfish use their vital systems

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!