the power to grow hair 0.00000000001% faster

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The power to see through womens clothes but every woman you use it on instantly gets saggy breasts.

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the power to animate condiments

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The power to think about a location and forget that you travelled all the way there, making you think you can teleport.

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The power to realize that at least half of the top ten "powers" are yours, and you don't know if you are proud or ashamed of having so little to do... On the bright side, you don't sign them like some other douches...

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The power throw up hockey pucks every few minutes.

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the ability to jump like a white man

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The power to circumcise yourself

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The power to run slightly faster than Usain bolt

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The power to say things twice. The power to say things twice.

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The power to eat anything you like and still be fat.

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the power to blind and nausiat yourself for 12 hours straight with no way to stop it ohh and the power the eat hairy dicks

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The power to levitate for 10 seconds only when having explosive diarrhea

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the ability to finish dinner three days after it was served

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The power to grow a beard really fast but only relative to the hair on your head

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eht rewop ot daer sdrowkcab.

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the owe to sneeze with your eyes open

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the power to toast bread without a toaster

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The power to be a fan of Rosie O'donell

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The power to have a blue, silhouetted body, and a trollface for a head.

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The power to die when you get scared.

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the power to only bring back the dead from june 1450

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The power of 50% levitation your legs would drag along the ground

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the power to have a larger erection, but only when your alone.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!