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Pointless Super Powers
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Most of Gods powers part 2: Let us pretend that God really created everything... including sin right? God: Jebus, I want you to go down to earth and receive torture of legendary proportions, and die. Jebus: Why? God: To remove sin... Jebus: Uh... cant you just remove it? God replies either: 1. Yeah but ill be more fun this way, ill have you killed just to show you are not mortal anyways lol troll! 2. No, Sin is more powerful than me, so you better go die to not really die, relax... 3. Son, my ways are mysterious, "thunderstorm scares Jebus to go down) Moral disclaimer: God can be anyone`s God, and Jebus is not to be confused with the completely different Jesus. I mean every God out there and Jebus is simply a name I put instead of whoever prophet your religion has, so I really insulted everyone religious. Moral: (the other was a disclaimer) Religion is written by men... drunk men... now go eat your bread and drink your wine... and you shall become like Jebus... tortured and crucified? To show the world you are immortal? Side effects: Alcholism and all that follows, including a quicker death... to prove your immortality? (Hypnosis is powerful shit, especially when you are drunk, take it from a experienced hypnotist)
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+69
The ability to change the color of your poop
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+69
The power to turn a brainfart into a fart
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+67
power to fly when your underwater
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+63
The power to make police appear whilst speeding.
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+63
The power to have night vision when there's daylight.
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+51
get my hair more 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 Straighter---Girl!
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+41
make your arm REALLY. fart power
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+25
The ability to turn into a moth only when you run into a spider web.
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+21
The power to erect your nipples at will.
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+19
The power to see everything 3D without 3D glasses
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+19
The power to only see things that are a shade of orange if the date adds up to a divisor of Pi x enough to make it a whole number, if you are wearing a hat and have recently expeled bodily fluid
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+17
The power to dream about being asleep.
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+5
a power to turn liquid into goo!
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-17
The superpower to fly but when you reach 55 feet up you loose your power
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-17
The power to go hibernate at winter.
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-43
Immunity to everything but AIDS, bears, being choked with cloth, Donald trump, Energy Blasts, fire, guns, etc.
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-53
the power to consume yourself and use it as food (dosn't remove pain and will cause medical condisions)
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-55
The power to be an adventurer until you take an arrow to the knee.
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+162
The ability to talk really loud on your phone while in public areas.
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+142
The power to make Dylan Zona trip on everything when he walks and falls face first I to a pile of shit
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+134
The Power to Fail in Failing
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+130
The power to read any captcha, but no longer be able to type.
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+126
The superpower to attract harm to yourself with twice the damage.
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+118
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Pointless Super Powers
A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!