The power to transform into a paralysed turtle with half its shell missing

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The power to fall asleep each time you

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The power to lick your own elbow

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The power to read an animal's mind, but only when they're in a vegetative state.

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The ability to do moderately well on an exam while sharting next to your crush.

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The power to cry sulfuric acid.

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The power to turn invisible, in pitch darkness

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The power to understand that if you type or read at this section, then it is probably because it means something to you... Moral: That is almost a superpower... I mean wow pointless makes a point which is pointless, and a pointless point with a point is... anyway I just divided by infinite loop. Cant say that is far away from zero which by itself is basically a circle... Damn im good! (just for that final line im gonna get thumbed down, its worth it though.

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The power to change your hair's color to white when you're old.

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the power to make your nose longer by 5 centimeter on command

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the power to explain accidents when nobody gives a rats ass anymore

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the power to listen to dead people that speak a different language than you.

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The power to have sex with anyone you want in the world, but only after you die.

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The power to eat peas as a vegetarian

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The power to predict how an event could have played out, but only after the event has already happened.

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The ability to produce a nickle each time you smack you`re face on any hard surface so hard you break at least 6 bones.

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The power to make someone hate crayons by poking your left eyebrow while looking at them.

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The ability to make everything real, only in your dreams.

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To have the power to give yourself a disease

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The ability to watch movies in 1D

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to do nothing

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The power of having two left hands.

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The ability to look at yourself in anything, except a mirror.

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THE SUPER FRIENDS HEROES LEAGUE OF SUPER HEROES OF LESSER USEFUL HEROES! KNIGHT FARTSALOT!: Fear my methane! You and me in one small room for 3 days and you will faint for sure! Uncle Diabeetush: Save their parents Captain! Ill take care of their children! Captain Novolin: I have great sugar level control! Help me! Evil Mistress Sugarpie is too sweet! Runald MagnifiCient Donalds: HAMBARGAR HAMBARGAR HAMBARGAR WOOOOO! I keep American people from starvation! Remember kids less than 250 pounds counts as starvation! And their LEADER... MORAL MAN!: The hell am I introducing myself here for? Damn you Subconscious! How can you expect people to understand my genius of putting myself here! They are morons! Oh... hi everybody.. wazzup?

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!