The power to see in the dark, but only when the lights are on.

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The power to make a woman be quiet but only during sex.

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power to breathe in water but when you get in to water you gonna die in 30 seconds

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Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

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the power to run in slow motion

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The power to shrink your dick smaller but an inability to make it larger (even back to the original size).

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The power to attract lightning strikes to yourself.

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the power to disinfect wigs.

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The power to never receive pop-ups when surfing porn, but only on gay porn

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the power to make your nose longer by 5 centimeter on command

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The power to have sex with anyone you want in the world, but only after you die.

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The power to use your dick/tits as your cellphone at any time.

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a power to turn liquid into goo!

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The power to get cancer all the time. And strokes.

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The power to predict how an event could have played out, but only after the event has already happened.

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The power to poop without wiping

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The power of the most useless power and have that power.

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The power to be number one, unless someone was better than you.

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The power to turn oxygen into carbon dioxide.

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The power to see in black and white at will.

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The power to invent things as soon as you see them

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Power to come up with an idea you have recently heard of.

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The power to lift animate objects in the same direction.

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The ability to speak to deaf caterpillers

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!