Most of Gods powers part 2: Let us pretend that God really created everything... including sin right? God: Jebus, I want you to go down to earth and receive torture of legendary proportions, and die. Jebus: Why? God: To remove sin... Jebus: Uh... cant you just remove it? God replies either: 1. Yeah but ill be more fun this way, ill have you killed just to show you are not mortal anyways lol troll! 2. No, Sin is more powerful than me, so you better go die to not really die, relax... 3. Son, my ways are mysterious, "thunderstorm scares Jebus to go down) Moral disclaimer: God can be anyone`s God, and Jebus is not to be confused with the completely different Jesus. I mean every God out there and Jebus is simply a name I put instead of whoever prophet your religion has, so I really insulted everyone religious. Moral: (the other was a disclaimer) Religion is written by men... drunk men... now go eat your bread and drink your wine... and you shall become like Jebus... tortured and crucified? To show the world you are immortal? Side effects: Alcholism and all that follows, including a quicker death... to prove your immortality? (Hypnosis is powerful shit, especially when you are drunk, take it from a experienced hypnotist)

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The power to die after life has left you old and decrepit.

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The power to know the answer to every question you're asked, but forgetting it instantly.

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The power to read captchas 2% faster than usual.

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The power to summon fire with the use of a match

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the power to be friends with Donald trump

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The power to spit venom, but it misses 99.9% of the time.

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to be able to kill bieber and what ever you want only on mondays

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The power to wake up one second earlier than everyone else.

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The power to make police appear whilst speeding.

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The power to do something as powerful as thin air

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the power to smell like ham

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The power to eat a ridiculous amount sandwiches without getting full

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The power look completely butiful but Only in complete darkness

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The ability to make yourself rich unless you are using it on yourself...

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The power to answer trivia questions, but only being able to do so in a loud, aggressive voice.

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The power to shrink your dick smaller but an inability to make it larger (even back to the original size).

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To the comment below: You wont get a chance to miss me mortal... Moral: The color of envy... you wish you could be like me... everyone of you, yet some of you got the balls/pussies to prove it! For the people! For the freedom of speech! For courage and strength! For balls of steel! For the ladies... and most importantly... because I f*cking want to! NOW AND FOREVER! I AM MORAL MAN!

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The power to kill you self.

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The power to ejaculate needles.

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The power to cry sulfuric acid.

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The power to walk up stairs faster then normal.

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The power to never receive pop-ups when surfing porn, but only on gay porn

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the power to grill steak for a vegetarian

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!