The power to sit on a pile of change and add it up.

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The power to turn cheese into potatoes.

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The power to die on command.

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The power to turn oxygen into carbon dioxide.

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The ability to think the thought you thought of is the same thought as another persons thought while thinking of that thought.

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The power to automatically blink rapidly at the rate of 1,588 times per second everytime you open your mouth.

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The ability to quit smoking by giving yourself lung, heart, and throat cancer, coupled with enphysema.

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Vanilla scented blood

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The power to eat socks

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The epic power of laser pointer vision.

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The power to freeze laptops when you're watching porn and someone comes in.

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The power to be reading this when you can WORSHIP ME! Moral: You love me, I love me, we all win! Now, bring forth thy sacrifices, women, gold, diamonds, women, more women, yeah... And if you are a woman, you can come many many times with me...

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The power to smell whore

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The power to be invincible......... only when you are not in danger or harm.

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Immunity to curable diseases.

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The ability to lose 0.000000000001 percent more skin per year.

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The power of having a short attention sp-- Ooh shiny!

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The ability to be smart, but only if you study for the first 18 years of your life

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The ability to self destruct at will.

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the power to slightly darken the color of tree bark upon touch

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The ability to not drop anything ...when you're not holding anything

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the power to laugh at burials and cry at weddings

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The power to fuck your moms pussy at will (her opinion or desire means nothing to the will of your useless superpower!). Moral: SONS OF SICKMAN FRAUD REJOICE!

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The ability to see the future through the eyes of people you don't know in places you can never go while you are doing life threatening work.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!