The power to produce fish eggs from your left eye

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The ability to see the future through the eyes of people you don't know in places you can never go while you are doing life threatening work.

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The ability to walk backwards... backwards.

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the power to hate Raymond, and like Chris.

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The power to see oxygen.

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The power to shoot glue from your penis

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the power to shoot fireballs.....only when your under water

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Invisibility, when no one is looking.

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The power to flush toilets with your mind

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the power to ryme words with orange, purple, and silver but only after eating your own poo and while singing a beyonce song

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The power to slightly disfigure anything made out of macaroni.

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The power to write pointless superpowers

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the power to turn food into shit

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The ability to give yourself a stroke just using your mind.

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The power to assassinate already-dead leaders

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to eat a pie and get to fart an apple (cus why not)

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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The power to chew with your tongue

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The power to only be obesely fat.

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The power to see your reflection with The Mirror

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the ability to do see through any girl's clothes but you must be singing a Demi Lovato song at 76.786 Decibels EXACTLY!

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The power to not get shit d*ck

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The power to melt plastic by standing perfectly still for a month.

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To never remember what the word if means

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!