- Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!

the power to sing like an angel... but only if the song is "friday" or "baby"

The power to be alone

Having taste buds in your anus.

The power to be constantly reminded of the game

I have the power to force farts out of my ass.

The power to shrink boobs

The ability to have telekinesis on February the 30th

The power to fly for 2 seconds when jumping

The power to produce highly concentrated sulphuric acid in your sweat glands.

The power to eat food a little faster. So when you are done you have to just stay there for 5 more minutes for everybody to finish

the power to extend commercial time while your in the bathroom

The power to read the future in a language you will never learn to understand. Moral: I read that "thy comment expects a billion red thumbs"... WTF does that mean?

The power to be missed when present.

The power to have extreme S and M sex with Rosie O Donnell at will, you as the submissive.

The power of absolutely flawless hindsight. -Credit to South Park

The power to be light and stand against darkness. Moral: FU Destiny!

The power to instantly make an accurate assessment on tomorrow's hangover probability well before you've consumed far more than the amount of alcohol which would guarantee it...and yet manage to forget sometimes you have this superpower.

The power to slightly disfigure anything made out of macaroni.

The power to flush toilets with your mind

power to drop the soap in the jail shower room

The power to crap without pissing.

the power to sleep while standing!

the power to ryme words with orange, purple, and silver but only after eating your own poo and while singing a beyonce song

the power to time travel to the same time, date, and year

Pointless Super Powers