Brazilian waxing via telepathy.

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The power to predict how an event could have played out, but only after the event has already happened.

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the power to sit down BUT you have to sit down for ever

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The ability to pass out at will.

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the power to like Hilary Clinton

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The power of reading a book unless it has 3 or more pages.

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The power to eat food, unless you're touching food.

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The power to convert Oxygen into chemical energy and waste gases.

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The ability to watch movies in 1D

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The power to create a vaporization beam that removes one atom per second.

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THE SUPER FRIENDS HEROES LEAGUE OF SUPER HEROES OF LESSER USEFUL HEROES! KNIGHT FARTSALOT!: Fear my methane! You and me in one small room for 3 days and you will faint for sure! Uncle Diabeetush: Save their parents Captain! Ill take care of their children! Captain Novolin: I have great sugar level control! Help me! Evil Mistress Sugarpie is too sweet! Runald MagnifiCient Donalds: HAMBARGAR HAMBARGAR HAMBARGAR WOOOOO! I keep American people from starvation! Remember kids less than 250 pounds counts as starvation! And their LEADER... MORAL MAN!: The hell am I introducing myself here for? Damn you Subconscious! How can you expect people to understand my genius of putting myself here! They are morons! Oh... hi everybody.. wazzup?

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The power that turns farts into music.

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The power to invent things as soon as you see them

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the power to destroy the planet you are standing on

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ability to run very fast forever

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The power to only sit down and not stand up.

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Eclairvoiance: The ability to forsee when you will eat your next cream-filled, chocolate coated pastry...

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The power to be a snail

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The power to be invisible, when no cameras or people are looking.

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The power to switch genders, but you can't switch back.

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The power to shit bricks, uncontrollably.

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The power of being invincible, except when a life-threatening situation develops.

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the power to attract flying frisbees to your own nose

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The power to change traffic signals to anything that is not beneficial to you.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!