The power to moves in slow motion.

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The power to ramble on and on endlessly with no end in sight with the most inane of thoughts that no one can begin to guess when they will end or what the value or goal of anything so long-winded might be until you find yourself questioning your very desire to go living if you are only going to continue rambling.

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time travel that ownly have 5 time before loose it

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The power to even

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power to eat 500000 big macs in a day

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the power to walk an inch above land but only on labor day

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The power to be reading this when you can WORSHIP ME! Moral: You love me, I love me, we all win! Now, bring forth thy sacrifices, women, gold, diamonds, women, more women, yeah... And if you are a woman, you can come many many times with me...

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The power to transform any food into shit simply by eating it.

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The power to defeat Chuck Norris but only if you can reach the speed of light

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The power to get a song stuck in someone's head.

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The power to summon a spray of bullets going everywhere in the room, and bullet-vulnerability.

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the power to stop masturbating every day

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Having six fingers but only on your left hand when you are trying to wear gloves

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The power to breathe slightly faster

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the power to get married

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The power to get an A+ on every test- but you need to study for 5 hours or so ahead of time

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The power to read the future in a language you will never learn to understand. Moral: I read that "thy comment expects a billion red thumbs"... WTF does that mean?

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The power to shit on the ceiling

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the superpower of making pointless and lame jokes for which no human laughs (except crazy ones and apes)

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the power to be physically attracted to the same sex

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the power to slightly darken the color of tree bark upon touch

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The ability to poop glue.

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the ability to make a really long post ajsfffffhkshgdddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddfgggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggjssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssa

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the power to laugh at burials and cry at weddings

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!