The power to even

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power to eat 500000 big macs in a day

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The power to be reading this when you can WORSHIP ME! Moral: You love me, I love me, we all win! Now, bring forth thy sacrifices, women, gold, diamonds, women, more women, yeah... And if you are a woman, you can come many many times with me...

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The power to transform any food into shit simply by eating it.

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the power to walk an inch above land but only on labor day

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The power to defeat Chuck Norris but only if you can reach the speed of light

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The power to summon a spray of bullets going everywhere in the room, and bullet-vulnerability.

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The power to get a song stuck in someone's head.

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The power to breathe slightly faster

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the power to stop masturbating every day

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the power to get married

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Having six fingers but only on your left hand when you are trying to wear gloves

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The power to get an A+ on every test- but you need to study for 5 hours or so ahead of time

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The power to shit on the ceiling

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The power to read the future in a language you will never learn to understand. Moral: I read that "thy comment expects a billion red thumbs"... WTF does that mean?

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the superpower of making pointless and lame jokes for which no human laughs (except crazy ones and apes)

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the power to be physically attracted to the same sex

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The ability to poop glue.

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the power to slightly darken the color of tree bark upon touch

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the power to jump, but only on any surface

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the ability to make a really long post ajsfffffhkshgdddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddfgggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggjssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssa

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the power to enter a coma.

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the power to laugh at burials and cry at weddings

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The power to laught at Tyler Perry's House of Payne

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!