The power to teleport......one nanometer every million years

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The power to be caught sniffing your sisters panties and get punished by having her crotch forced up and down yours while your mother licks your balls.

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the power to walk on land.

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The power to transform into a bucket of water.

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the power to never be able to draw a straight line with a ruler

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The power to push "pull" doors

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The power to break a Nokia

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the power to have super strength but only wile you are sleeping,

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The power to play Call of Duty for free, if you've already bought the game not for free.

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The power to read the minds of sandwhiches.

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The power to knock yourself unconscious

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The power to start typing a sentance and then start writing another way to save on your car insurance is to take the The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start to write a book about a magic trick that reveals cards

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Most of Gods powers part 2: Let us pretend that God really created everything... including sin right? God: Jebus, I want you to go down to earth and receive torture of legendary proportions, and die. Jebus: Why? God: To remove sin... Jebus: Uh... cant you just remove it? God replies either: 1. Yeah but ill be more fun this way, ill have you killed just to show you are not mortal anyways lol troll! 2. No, Sin is more powerful than me, so you better go die to not really die, relax... 3. Son, my ways are mysterious, "thunderstorm scares Jebus to go down) Moral disclaimer: God can be anyone`s God, and Jebus is not to be confused with the completely different Jesus. I mean every God out there and Jebus is simply a name I put instead of whoever prophet your religion has, so I really insulted everyone religious. Moral: (the other was a disclaimer) Religion is written by men... drunk men... now go eat your bread and drink your wine... and you shall become like Jebus... tortured and crucified? To show the world you are immortal? Side effects: Alcholism and all that follows, including a quicker death... to prove your immortality? (Hypnosis is powerful shit, especially when you are drunk, take it from a experienced hypnotist)

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To Turn Thin To Macho but only in left arm

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The power to breathe oxygen.

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The ability to open a door that was already open.

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The power to summon fire with the use of a match

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Super Arians. Moral: If you think of it, Super Sayan is an acronym for Super Asian, are blonde blue eyed Asians superiors? DRAGON BALL JAPANAZEE!

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the power to fall at 9.9m per second.

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The power to be able to make something usable but have it disappear when you try to use it.

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The power to transform into a paralysed turtle with half its shell missing

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The power to fall asleep each time you

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The power to cry sulfuric acid.

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the power to die

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!